What is Love?

What Does Love Feel Like?

On Saturday I attended the third No Kings national day of protest and was excited to learn that No Kings was in fact a global day of protest. Over 8 million people participated in communities all over the US and many more in cities around the world. I felt love and joy from the people protesting around me and from many of the people driving by. Some signs and chants communicated the message that “love, not hate, make’s America great.” One person driving past said he wasn’t feeling the love. This makes me contemplate how we recognize love and how we communicate love to others. Do we sometimes think we are showing love and have difficulty understanding why others aren’t feeling loved by us?

How do we define love? Is it actually love if others don’t feel loved by us? Some are being accused of hatred and don’t see their words or actions as hatred. It seems as if words have different meanings to different people and actions can be interpreted in very different ways. So let’s review some definitions of love and hatred.

Merriam Webster has several definitions of love, but the one that best applies in this context is as follows: “unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: such as

(1): the concern of God for humankind

(2): empathy, concern, or care for others”. (www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/love)

On the flip side, Merriam Webster defines hatred as “extreme dislike or disgust; ill will or resentment that is usually mutual; prejudiced hostility or animosity.”

So I think each one of us needs to ask ourselves if what we have in our hearts and what we are communicating to the world is concern, care and empathy or resentment and animosity? Do I have love for some and hate for others? Am I truly wanting to love everyone and make everyone feel welcome in my presence? If so, am I currently achieving that goal or do I need to work on my approach, on my heart, my words and my behavior? I believe this kind of self-reflection is an important exercise for all of us especially in these politically charged times. It is so easy to slip into “us versus them” thinking and develop resentment towards “them”. The bigger challenge is developing and maintaining a genuine love and concern for the wellbeing of ALL people everywhere.

Is love transactional? Is it offered on condition of certain behavior? Is it withdrawn if the recipient stops meeting my expectations? Or is it forgiving and merciful? Does love attempt to control others or does love allow freedom and acceptance? Does love call people names or hurl insults? Do I tell myself that I am better or smarter or that what I believe is the whole truth and that others just need to wake up and accept my way of thinking?

I learned about “the love chapter” in the Bible early in life and I think it is worth reviewing some of the lessons from 1 Corinthians 13. If I speak eloquently without love, am I just annoying people like a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal? If I equip myself with all the facts and knowledge but share them without love, will anyone listen? If I give away all my possessions to charities without love, what kind of impact will I have? Love is patient and kind, is not arrogant, is not provoked, does not hold grudges, and celebrates truth. Love endures and never fails. “We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! … But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:12-13, The Message Bible)

And now a few quotes about love and how to live hate-free from other sources:

“It is up to each one of us to immunize ourselves from any disabling bolts of anger and defend ourselves from the thunderstorms of hatred. No matter how maliciously anyone might act towards us, humankind’s ability to express empathy, compassion, and mercy is the only life-sustaining panacea. Whenever we foster empathy and compassion and display mercy towards other people, we overcome the vilest actions and greatest atrocities committed by other persons. If we love everyone, we can never feel victimized or hate anyone. If we love ourselves, we will never act in a degrading manner.”― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

“With gentleness and forgiveness, dismantle the scorn. A compassionate heart for others is important. Keep your life hate-free, and love the people around you. It is vital to remember this: kindness is everything. Let there be no animosity, but spread benevolence for each other.”― D.L. Lewis

“Spread love without boundary”― Rashid Jorvee

Before you scroll on, please listen to this brand new song by Amy Grant which contemplates How Do We Get There From Here: