Remembering with Love

Five years ago, my father suffered a stroke and died a few days later on March 22. That great loss compounded by several other changes in relationships made 2019 the most heartbreaking, challenging year of my life thus far. Grief is a long journey with many ups and downs, and it is different for each individual. Death anniversaries(as well as birthdays and holidays) are often a difficult time for those of us who have lost someone we love dearly. I have been thinking about my dad a lot more as this anniversary was approaching. I usually try to honor his memory by partaking of things that he would have enjoyed. One of his favorite things was watching college basketball and, since he died during March Madness, I get to watch some basketball every year on the anniversary of his death. Last night I watched Duke win which he would have been thrilled about, and Gonzaga is kicking some Kansas butt as I write this.

I want to share a little about my dad by way of sharing his eulogy and a few pictures. As we all know, there are no perfect people and therefore no perfect relationships. Eulogies usually emphasize the good and omit the bad, and that is what I chose to do for my dad as well. I shared the following with much emotion at his memorial service.

(Wayne is the cutie patootie on the left with his brother Herb. Circa 1936)

My dad, Wayne Lovin, was the youngest of five and was raised by a single mom after his father abandoned the family. He grew into a handsome young man who loved basketball, singing, Perry Como, and beautiful women, especially one particular tall slender brunette(my mom). He risked and almost lost his life serving our country and stubbornly fought to recover when doctors said he would never walk again. Wayne graduated from college with a bachelor's degree in business administration.  He married the love of his life and remained faithful and committed to her for 57 years.

He became Daddy to two girls after losing his firstborn son who arrived too early in 1965, and he loved and raised them to the best of his ability. He always worked hard providing for his family, including jobs as an elementary school teacher, social worker, probation officer, camp caretaker, tutor of Native American students, and inventory control specialist for the Indian Health Service. 

My dad always loved his family and valued time spent together. He provided a Christian education for his daughters and encouraged and expected hard work to achieve good grades and career goals. He modeled and taught a healthy lifestyle focused on exercise and good food. He loved to eat, loved college basketball, loved to garden and work outdoors. I used to follow him around outdoors “helping” with whatever he was doing. My dad believed in Jesus and dedicated countless hours to studying God's Word and singing praises to Him. He gave generously to his church, Christian schools and others as he sacrificed and modeled thrifty living. He endured a lifetime of pain and hearing loss without complaining. He gave great hugs and always hated saying goodbye. He is my Dad and I love and miss him. 

(Dad and I with his grandkids in 2006)

What do you do to honor and remember people you have loved and lost? Please share in the comments below if you feel comfortable.

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