Loving Me First

May I Love and Value Myself As I Am

Did you know that May is Mental Health Awareness Month and NAMI(National Alliance on Mental Illness) is celebrating with the More Than Enough campaign? “It’s an opportunity for all of us to come together and remember the inherent value we each hold — no matter our diagnosis, appearance, socioeconomic status, background or ability. We want every person out there to know that if all you did was wake up today, that’s more than enough. No matter what, you are inherently worthy of more than enough life, love and healing. Showing up, just as you are, for yourself and the people around you is more than enough.” (From the NAMI website) I didn't realize that my first blog post was in sync with NAMI's campaign, but if you missed it, you can read it now: https://awakened2love.substack.com/p/enough-already

It is so important for our mental health, as well as our physical, spiritual, social, and emotional health, to fully love and value ourselves just as we are. We are all imperfect and broken, and we are beautiful souls of incredible value. Look at yourself in the mirror, literally(like my mirror selfie) and figuratively, and focus on what you love about yourself. If you are having a hard time finding anything you love, ask someone who loves you to tell you what they love about you. What are your best qualities or features? Think about things that you love to do, your skills, your passions, and what brings you joy. Maybe you have let go of some of these things along the way in the busyness of life or because other people in your life didn’t share your interests or appreciate your gifts. Perhaps you need to revive an earlier passion or quality, or boldly explore new aspects of yourself and your potential.

One thing I love about myself is that I am very empathetic and considerate of other people’s feelings. When I was a kid, my dad frequently criticized people and my natural tendency was to defend the person(s) he was criticizing. My dad did not like that I argued with him, and told me that I should be a lawyer. This was not an affirmation of my ability to advocate for people, but a snide, angry remark that effectually silenced me for many years. I became quiet, timid, and indecisive. I lost part of who I was and who I could be. I listened, obeyed, and believed what I was taught about myself and the world around me.

Over the years, my eyes have been progressively opened to new perspectives and a new understanding of who I am and what my purpose is in this world. I have found my voice again! Thankfully, I was able to be my dad’s biggest advocate in his last months of life and I truly believe that he knew and appreciated what I did for him. I am now a hospice social worker, so I provide empathy and support for many individuals and families at the end of life. I have focused on learning the stories of many people and people groups who have been oppressed and devalued, and am trying to be a respectful ally in the ongoing fight for a better world with justice and equality for everyone. I now declare that empathy is my superpower! I hope that you can find and embrace your superpower too.

I want to share a tool for learning to love ourselves(and everyone else) better. Loving kindness is a simple intentional meditative practice that can be life-changing. I recommend finding a place where you feel safe and relaxed. Take deep slow breaths, while simply saying to yourself: May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease. Speak slowly and prayerfully. You can change the words to better fit you or your current situation. Some other examples are: May I love myself as I am. May I find peace in this chaotic world. May I let go of sorrows. May I let go of physical suffering. May I love and be loved. May I be happy and content.

After you focus on loving yourself, you can change the “I” to the name of someone you love, someone you have a hard time loving, certain groups of people, or the world at large. For example: May my daughter love herself as she is. May all the people in the world find peace and contentment. Loving kindness does not mean accepting negative behavior, but it can mean wishing for healing: May I forgive myself for hurting my partner/friend, and may I learn to always show them my love. May Karen heal their inner wounds and find a path to happiness.

One of my great joys in life is music, so I will be sharing songs along the way that I hope will help convey the theme of loving self and others. I want to conclude this post with a song by Nichole Nordeman about giving ourself and others love and grace:

I would love to hear your stories of how you are loving yourself and finding your superpower. And if you can tell me how many times I used the word “May” in this post, you get a free subscription. Just kidding! Everyone can subscribe for free!

I also want to thank my pastor Dale Lykins for recommending Awakened2Love on his Unlearning Blog. Please check out his blog and his new book about finding his voice:

You may also enjoy reading Wendi Gordon’s articles at Changing Lives. Thank you, Wendi for recommending Awakened2Love!