An Autumn Allegory

It has been a difficult month for many. Some of us are barely hanging on like a leaf in a late November storm. Some are taking a break from news and/or social media. I wrote a story to try in some way to illustrate how many of us are feeling. My first draft seemed too triggering and hopeless, so I rewrote it. I hope this story will help you engage with the range of emotions you or others around you are feeling this Thanksgiving. Amidst everything, look for the love and kindness, and find hope in connecting with other empathic souls.

A young girl named Sue suddenly became an orphan when her parents both died in an accident. She was devastated and didn’t know what she and her younger siblings were going to do. People from her church and neighborhood brought food, looked at her with pity, and said they were praying for a good home for her and her brother and sister. Children’s services came and asked Sue if she had any relatives who they could live with. She said her grandparents were dead and they just had one uncle who they hadn’t seen for several years. The caseworker said she would contact their uncle and ask him to become their guardian.

Sue remembered that the last time she saw her uncle, he was bragging about getting away with doing mean things to her dad when they were kids, and her dad was very upset by the visit. She had told her dad that the way her uncle teased her made her very uncomfortable. Sue’s dad decided that he didn’t want his brother to visit again because of how his bullying behavior effected their family. So Sue didn’t really know her uncle but knew that she didn’t feel safe with him. Her younger brother and sister couldn’t remember him at all and wanted to meet their uncle.

Sue told the caseworker that she didn’t want her uncle to be their guardian, but the caseworker said she didn’t have any other options that would keep the siblings together and she was sure that they would be fine. Sue also talked to some adults she trusted about her concerns, and they all said that her uncle was a fine man and they would be lucky to have him as a guardian. Sue hoped that her uncle would refuse to accept the responsibility, but as soon as he learned about their life insurance payout, he happily agreed and moved in.

At first, Sue tried to give him a chance and hoped that she had been wrong about him. But before long, he was “joking” with her and her siblings in really hurtful ways and bragging about his childhood pranks that probably should have landed him in jail. He often invited friends over and sent the kids to bed early while he partied loudly with his friends. One night Sue heard her uncle telling his friends that he was pretty sure she was a lesbian and he was going to send her to a parochial boarding school to set her on the right track. His friends laughed and cheered his decision, and proceeded to leer at her when she walked by on her way to the bathroom. One man put his arm around her and said “We’re all praying for you to find a great guy like your uncle someday.” Sue was devastated and didn’t know what to do. She just lost her parents and now she was going to lose her school friends and would rarely see her siblings. She thought about sneaking out her window and running away to a friend’s house, but she really didn’t want to leave her brother and sister or their home.

The next day Sue called the caseworker, but she wouldn’t do anything because the guardian has the right to choose her school and she didn’t want to have to find them another home. Sue thought about telling the adults she had confided in before, but they wouldn’t listen to her because they believed her uncle was a fine man. She felt so alone, scared and powerless. She knew something horrible was going to happen but just didn’t know when. She cried herself to sleep that night and for several nights after that.

One day, a couple of posters outside the school counselor’s office caught Sue’s eye. One said “Bully-free Zone” and the other one said “Come in and take a load off.” Sue wondered to herself why school was the only place with zero tolerance for bullying, and then decided to take a chance and go see Miss Lewis during her lunch period. Miss Lewis asked how Sue was doing and expressed how sorry she was for the incredible loss her family suffered. Sue could tell that Miss Lewis really cared about her and her tears and words began to flow. That afternoon, Sue decided to also talk to her friends about how she was feeling, and she realized that she was going to be OK no matter what happened.

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For those of you who resonate with Sue, I wish you comfort and connection.

For those who don’t, I wish you empathy for those who do.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!