Am I an Imposter?

A Look at Imposter Syndrome

Welcome back to the Awakened2Love blog! So far I have been writing new articles about every two weeks and I plan to continue that frequency unless life prevents me from it at some point. Thank you for reading and subscribing! I truly appreciate it.

In my first two articles, I wrote about the importance of realizing that we are enough just as we are, and the importance of loving and valuing ourselves. I would love to hear from you in the comments about how you are learning to better love yourself or new things you are discovering about yourself. If you have tried practicing Loving kindness, please share what you are focusing on and how that is working(or not). Today I am going to discuss Imposter Syndrome and tools we can use to improve our confidence and self-worth in various settings and situations.

I recently heard a celebrity talk about having imposter syndrome and not feeling worthy of the fame and fortune that they had achieved. I suddenly realized that I have imposter syndrome! There is a really good chance that you have experienced it too.

Imposter syndrome, also known as imposter phenomenon or imposterism, is when people doubt their skills, talents, or accomplishments and have a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as frauds. The term imposter phenomenon was introduced in an article published in 1978, titled "The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention" by Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes. Clance and Imes defined impostor phenomenon as "an internal experience of intellectual phoniness" and initially focused their research on women in higher education and professional industries. Despite receiving consistent external validation, these women lacked internal acknowledgement of their accomplishments. Some women attributed their success to luck, and some believed that people had overestimated their capabilities. Clance and Imes discovered that the women in the study experienced symptoms of "generalized anxiety, lack of self-confidence, depression, and frustration related to inability to meet self-imposed standards of achievement." (Source: Wikipedia article titled “Impostor syndrome”)

Have you ever lacked confidence in your abilities or your intelligence and worried that people were going to realize that you really don’t deserve to be in your job, in a certain role, or in a relationship? Do you have a fear of making mistakes or saying the wrong thing and being discovered as a fraud? Do you downplay or discount any achievements or compliments? I have definitely experienced this in the workplace and often continue to feel this way. I talked to a few friends about this topic and learned that they have experienced imposter syndrome too. One friend held a prestigious position in the field of medicine and felt like he was overpaid and would one day be discovered as unworthy. Another person worked as a corporate executive and shared that numerous other executives struggled with imposter syndrome. Clare Josa wrote a book titled Ditching Imposter Syndrome and her research has shown that 62% of people have experienced imposter syndrome, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the number is even higher. We are in good company. The brilliant Albert Einstein had imposter syndrome! Viola Davis said in an interview on 60 Minutes that the majority of people in her business have imposter syndrome.

Many of us have been influenced through social conditioning, family and religious baggage, and unrealistic expectations to believe that we are not good enough because of our gender, race, age, LGBTQIA identity, and so many other factors. As a result, we often hold ourselves back and avoid doing things because we don’t feel like we are worthy, deserving or capable. Don’t betray yourself or hold yourself back anymore because of what someone else has told you. Be the leading lady or man of your own life, the author of your own story. People who truly love you will love you as you are and only want you to be true to yourself.

(Picture: A shirt that my husband gave me for my birthday this week. I love it!)

I want to talk about ways to change our thinking and use imposter syndrome to challenge ourselves to accept and celebrate our skills and achievements AND continue to learn and build skills where we may have room for improvement. I listened to a podcast interview with Jay Shetty and he views imposter syndrome as a sign that we still have something to learn or a skill to improve(check out his podcast called On Purpose with Jay Shetty). Viola Davis says it “keeps you humble and keeps you working” and it means you are “in process”. Humility is an excellent quality but it can be taken too far. We need to find a healthy balance between humility and celebrating our successes.

Begin to acknowledge and celebrate your own achievements and abilities. Make a list of your achievements and accomplishments, and review the list when you are feeling like an imposter. Celebrate tiny successes every day. Talk to people in your workplace, your friend group, or comment below about your experiences, and you will find other people who have felt the same way. We can share tips with each other for how to address these feelings. We can build confidence in ourselves as we learn that we aren’t alone and that we really are worthy, skilled, capable, and enough.

Kara Loewentheil J.D., a life coach, provides a four-step Thought Ladder approach which sounds a lot like what we call cognitive behavioral therapy in the counseling field. Step one is to ask what do I think about myself now. Step two is to decide what I wish I could think about myself. Step three is to brainstorm three thoughts that I can think now and actually believe. And step four is to consistently practice those thoughts. You can find Kara at https://unfuckyourbrain.com/ or the Unf*ck Your Brain podcast.

If this topic interests you, I would encourage you to do your own research and self-discovery. It’s never too late to learn and grow. We can be lifelong learners. Until next time, have a great day and remember that you are enough.